by Lucila Balam
Villahermosa, Tabasco
August 2004

I am now back at home in my city, but the feeling that invaded my soul during my stay at CEA still lingers. Recalling what was, for me, a marvelous experience, transforms my nostalgia into pleasant memories I wish to share.

Every morning a proud and radiant sun rose over the horizon, caressing the sea, making it shine like diamonds, enrapturing the observer as the sparkling waves sweetly lapped upon the shore as I walked along the beach. It was a truly magical awakening, one that filled me with energy for the whole day. Many times, during these sunrises, I wondered how entirely fulfilling it would be if only I could find a place, just one, where the beach was yet to be touched by construction, far from these distractions that keep us from wholly participating in this great gift. I didn’t find that place. Perhaps I didn’t seek it enough, I didn’t walk far enough. Or perhaps that place I long for simply doesn’t exist, at least not on these beaches. At times I’d find a quieter, less-disturbed spot, but never one completely untouched. It’s a bit sad, yet I still enjoyed every single morning as the fresh and marvelous experience it was.

The days went by peacefully. The days and people in Akumal are very different. The people in their daily chores work and enjoy the wonderful scenery at the same time—individuals like CEA staff and eco-tourists who are committed to the Center, to nature, to their community and to themselves. This is where I come into the picture, in my shared experience as an intern with these incredible people; incredible for the simple fact that they choose to work for a great cause and invest their time in this work. A great cause because conservation is a selfless and noble task that not anyone can take on. Making the necessary sacrifices to dedicate your life to preserve the miracles of this world for future generations, that is to me a great cause. The people I met are very different from me, but we all shared a similar ideal. What the CEA community has is respect and admiration for that which surrounds us, and was here before it all, before any of us.

This communion was special. It is truly an enriching experience to meet people from places with traditions different from those we are used to, for each individual has something to share and teach. On the turtle walks, in our daily chores, on our own time, we all coexisted and shared a part of our essence with the rest; and so was born a fellowship of CEA staff and eco-tourists towards a common goal: working harmoniously in support of this great program.

I recall with excitement the nightly walks, the “patrolling” of the beaches under that dark and gentle night, occasionally perturbed by unnecessary lights, and often by noises that shattered my peace and, I suppose because of my youth, filled me with a deep anger and a desire to run off and kick someone. It sounds radical, I know, and fortunately those thoughts and feelings would vanish as I marched along the edge of the calming sea whose melody strained to drown the noises that worried my heart. Speaking with the tourists who shared our work along these walks, with the hope that perhaps they, the caring ones, could better understand the importance of our work and the need to respect nature, filled me with hope. So went the nights, waiting restlessly for the arrival of a turtle, anxious to be a part of something admirable under a deep, dark sky splattered with stars, and shooting stars that prompted us all to make a wish, and the dim light of the moon’s timid smile that kept us company on so many nights during my stay. You should know that, because of the bright light, turtles rarely nest during a full moon—therefore my indignation at unnecessarily lit and disproportionately bright artificial lights.

Suddenly, there would be absolute silence as one of the leading volunteers, or the program coordinator, crouched quietly and signaled to the rest of us. Yes—the awaited moment—a turtle! The darkness would force me to squint and strain my eyes to not miss a single detail, my heart beating frantically, adrenaline flushing through my body as we would keep still and quiet so as not to frighten the turtle nor perturb the process. There she’d be, throwing up sand with her powerful flippers, as we watched patiently, trying to go unnoticed. Being a green turtle, it took longer than I expected—I’d read it could take them up to 3–4 hours to lay their eggs. Four hours! Fortunately it didn’t take that long, and the wait was well worth it. Once she starts laying her eggs, we can proceed with our work. Quickly and stealthily we take the eggs so we can relocate the nest in our “corral” to protect it from natural predators, but mostly from man. We measure the shell, its width and length, and it is huge! They are usually around 3½ feet long. If the turtle has been previously tagged, we note the number. If not, we tag it. We go through our work, and it is truly an amazing experience.

Even more wondrous still is watching the beautiful and fragile hatchlings emerge from the nest, frantically flapping their flippers to rise out of the sand and poke their head out onto the surface, and prove once again the miracle of life, defiant and vigorous as they eagerly seek their uncertain destiny in the ocean. It is entirely fulfilling to hold these little marvels of nature in one’s hands. The recent encounter with a large nesting female, and now finding out how fragile and vulnerable sea turtles are when they start out, makes me question myself and admire these little-known processes. My heart shrinks as I recall that “out of 1,000 hatchlings only one makes it to adulthood.” This is precisely why this work is worthwhile. We are not masters of the universe, but we can help preserve what still exists and makes this world beautiful. This is why it is so important for us to open our eyes, and humbly realize that we are a part of this marvel, not its owners. We are insignificant before the vast and wide universe that surrounds us.

Human beings have impacted nature in a disproportionate and arrogant measure, destructively wasting a potential which could be constructive. Fearfully aware of our own mortality, we do not accept our finite nature and instead defy natural law devastating all in the name of our own vanity. Our ambitions eclipse our sense and we delude ourselves into believing that we are a higher being, unaware that every one of our actions against the environment is in reality one more step towards our own self-destruction, when instead we have all the potential to be happy and live in harmony with the universe.

I am very grateful for having been a part of this great effort to preserve our world. I am convinced that this effort is worthwhile, and it has already rewarded me many satisfactions and joy. But it will not end here. I have a commitment and a debt to my world, for it has taught me to find myself. I have been lucky enough to see things differently, and will live my life accordingly, committed and convinced. And surely next year, I shall return to this beach to continue the work, and live new and richer experiences.